 ALICE IN WONDERLAND
(press photo)
Release date: March 5
Director: Tim Burton
Cast: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Alan Rickman, Stephen Fry, Matt Lucas
Tim Burton teams up with Johnny Depp for the seventh time to present his bizarre and twisted (and 3D) vision of Lewis Carroll’s classic fairytale. It’s 10 years after Alice Kingsley (Wasikowska) first journeyed to the magical world of Wonderland and she has long forgotten the trip. Now a young woman, Alice finds herself trapped in an arranged marriage and suffocated by a snooty Victorian existence. But when she is once again lured by curiosity (and a pocket watch-toting rabbit) down a deep, dark hole, she returns to the fantastical world of talking caterpillars (Rickman), Cheshire cats (Fry), Tweedledums (Lucas), Tweedledees (Lucas) and mad hatters (Depp). All in Wonderland is not as Alice left it, however, and the maniacal Red Queen (Bonham Carter) now wields control over the land. It’s up to Alice and her re-found friends to end the Queen’s reign of terror and bring wonder back to Wonderland.
 THE BOUNTY HUNTER
Release date: March 19
Director: Andy Tennant
Cast: Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler, Christine Baranski, Jason Sudeikis
In yet another case of art imitating how badly you suck at relationships, Jennifer Aniston plays Nicole, a divorced reporter who jumped bail and is now being tracked down by her bounty hunter ex-hubby, Milo (Butler). As Milo continuously catches and loses Nicole in his slightly personal quest to bring her to justice, the former couple is unwittingly caught in the middle of a murder investigation and must now work togetherto stay alive.
BROOKLYN’S FINEST
Release date: March 5
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Cast: Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes
The director of Training Day presents this 2009 Sundance Film Festival stand-out about three Brooklyn police officers at three different stages in their careers. Eddie (Gere) is days away from retirement, Tango (Cheadle) is embedded as an undercover drug dealer and Sal (Hawke – in his second movie this year!) is an ethically embattled cop struggling to support his family. Their stories meet head-on in a massive and dangerous drug sting operation.
 CLASH OF THE TITANS
Release date: March 26
Director: Louis Leterrier
Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Alexa Davalos
Remember that 1981 movie you watched in junior high English class with the terrible claymation Medusa? Well, this is a remake of that. In said remake, Hades (Fiennes) is kickin’ ass and takin’ names in the Underworld, threatening to usurp Zeus (Neeson) as leader of the Gods and unleash his unholy beasts on Earth. Fortunately, Zeus’ son Perseus (Worthington) is a hell of a good guy and decides to lead his own band of creatures into a clash. Of the titans.
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID
Release date: March 19
Director: Thor Freudenthal
Cast: Zachary Gordon, Robert Capron, Steve Cahn, Rachael Harris
Based on the extremely popular book series I only first heard of five minutes ago, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid is a family comedy that chronicles the trials and tribulations of young Greg Heffley (Gordon), a wimpy middle school student. The movie illustrates Greg’s diary entries using both live-action characters and squiggly cartoons. I dunno. Ask your kids about it.
GREEN ZONE
Release date: March 12
Director: Paul Greengrass
Cast: Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, Brendan Gleeson, Amy Ryan
Based on the 2006 book Imperial Life in the Emerald City, this film reunites the Bourne series duo of Greengrass and Damon. Set during the early days of the most recent Iraq war, Green Zone stars Damon as a rogue military officer searching for weapons of mass destruction in the green zone. Spoiler alert. He doesn’t find any. He does, however, find a charming little cafe that makes masgouf and samoun to die for.
 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
Release date: March 26
Director: Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois
Cast: (voices of) Jay Baruchel, America Ferrera, Gerard Butler, Jonah Hill
Dragon-fighting is the Facebook of the mythical Viking island of Berk – everybody does it. Everybody, that is, except for Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (Baruchel), son of tribal chief Stoick the Vast (Butler). Things go from bad to badder when Hiccup befriends a dragon named Toothless and attempts to lead the Save The Dragons movement. Dreamworks’ Dragon, which will be shown in fabulous 3D, is based on a 2003 book of the same name.
I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS
Release date: March 26
Director: Glenn Ficarra and John Requa
Cast: Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro
Ah, the timeless tale of a man and his love of cigarettes. Oh, it’s not? How embarrassing. In fact, the film, which is another 2009 Sundance favorite, is the true story of a con artist named Steven Jay Russell (Carrey) who falls in love with his cellmate, Phillip Morris (McGregor). When Morris is released from prison, Russell repeatedly escapes prison to be with him. Ah, the timeless tale of a man and his forbidden love for his gay cellmate.
 REMEMBER ME
Release date: March 12
Director: Allen Coulter
Cast: Rob Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin, Pierce Brosnan, Chris Cooper
Oh, my god! It’s Rob Pattinson! Take a picture of me next to the movie synopsis. [click] This is so going on my Facebook. Pattinson plays a (yawn) “rebellious young man” whose relationship with his father (Brosnan) has been in the crapper ever since his brother killed himself. And just when he thinks no one understands him, a twist of fate introduces R-Patts to a sweet young lass (de Ravin). Their relationship is, of course, soon threatened.
THE RUNAWAYS
Release date: March 19
Director: Floria Sigismondi
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Scout Taylor-Compton, Stella Maeve
For anyone who wondered why Kristen Stewart has been sporting a mullet for the last several months – this is your answer. The Runaways is a biopic about the meteoric rise of the 1970s all-girl rock group of the same name. Stewart plays Joan Jett, little Fanning plays sex-kitten Cherie Currie, scream queen Taylor-Compton plays Lita Ford and Maeve plays Sandy West. The Jackie Fox character was nixed from the film for legal reasons and will be replaced by a fictional bassist.
SEASON OF THE WITCH
Release date: March 19
Director: Dominic Sena
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, Stephen Campbell Moore
Hopefully Nic Cage isn’t relying on this film’s success to pay the $14 million he owes the IRS in back taxes. Or the $23 million to the people who paid to see Wicker Man. “No, not the bees! Not the bees!” Cage and Perlman play 14th Century crusaders tasked with escorting an alleged witch (Foy) accused of starting the Black Plague to a place where she will probably be killed. However, Cage and his crew of goobers doubt her guilt.
 SHE’S OUT OF MY LEAGUE
(press photo)
Release date: March 12
Director: Jim Field Smith
Cast: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, Lindsay Sloane, TJ Miller
Kirk (Baruchel) is in way over his head. You see, he’s kind of a massive loser with no life goals, a dead-end job and a bitch of an ex-girlfriend (Sloane). Kind of like Kevin Federline. One day, fate takes a fortunate turn and Kirk meets a super hottie (Eve) whom he soon begins dating. Now Kirk must ignore all his instincts, as well as the advice of his friends and family, if he has any chance of keeping this girl that’s way out of his league.
-by David Onda |
